sdjalana | (no subject)

I've had this line running through my head all day today: "Taken away so young, taken away without warning..." I always thought this song was beautifully sad, but now it has a deeper meaning for me. She was only 58 years old, you see, and we were so optimistic about her prognosis.

I've never lost anyone close to me before, so I'm not sure how to deal with this kind of grief. I am so grateful for the time I had with her, but I'm also so ANGRY that she's gone. My mind kept wandering at work, making it hard to focus. My aunt is gone, and all I do is think, "Today is my BIRTHDAY; why did it have to happen NOW?" I feel so guilty for being annoyed that from now on, my birthday will be forever linked with my aunt's death.

I'll be flying to Taiwan next week. My grandmother wants me to stay at her place after the funeral, but when I think about how the last time I went to her house, my aunt had gone with me, I just start crying again.

I miss her.